March

I met someone I'd really like to be my Al-Anon sponsor.  I didn't realize I didn't have her phone number, though.  I'll have to get it next time I see her.  She radiates serenity and common sense.  I need to run my ideas about parenting past someone for input.  I don't trust my own decisions well enough yet.  It's so hard to watch a child in pain and not be able to do anything about it.

How to approach him?  Look for right time, say I can't do for him what he can do for himself, but I'm here in a crisis to give support and encouragement - just not to do for him.  It's the most loving thing I can do.  I also have to listen to those emotions.  If I feel angry or resentful, he is probably overstepping boundaries that I should consistently keep in place.  Keep the info simple and unemotional.  Just suggest some things and say I'm here for more suggestions but not to do for him - just bounce ideas off me.  Tell him his strengths - made it this far, smart, caring, loyal . . .   Biggest weakness:  won't follow through - have to be willing to listen to instructions from professionals and follow them to help himself.  Other one:  doesn't take responsibility for his own feelings/actions - just blames others.  Child of alcoholic so Alateen could be a great support group and see the higher power as the group.