I identified with some piece or in Jessica's case pretty much all of her feelings. I realize clearly I am codependent. It's actually comforting to have a name for my problems and to become aware that the way to get better is to start being responsible for and to myself only. I began that process three years ago when my father died. I started working on friendships surrounding my favorite activity and putting decent food in my body - controlling the overeating I was doing. However, I hadn't really understood how much of my problem was of my own doing. Now I need to work on consistent boundaries. Al-Anon is the best place I could have gone. I'm so glad I decided I was desperate enough to try anything. I see Kiku's implosion as the impetus to change for me and perhaps eventually for the whole family. I do obsess about things so this has become a new obsession perhaps, but I believe I can change. It will take time and pain. It's hard not to get sucked into doing for my children.
Codependency: caring more for others than for my own self, obessing about their lives rather than bettering mine; giving them all the best things money can buy while I go without, putting up with abusive behavior, not stating my real feelings for fear of reactions/rejection. I was made fun of for my feelings in the past.
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