Job Anxiety

I am feeling anxious right now.  I just read an e-mail that student numbers are down.  We are already in financial trouble with no real expectation that our Orcas property will sell meaning we are living on the edge.  I would love to only work 4 days but can't really afford that yet.  Kiku will cost less and perhaps Keisuke won't cost that much either as I am now determined not to get sucked into getting whatever they want.  That will help.  However, I will have to figure out something if I lose Fridays.  I pray that if I lose something, that it is just Fridays.  It would be positive in the sense of being able to do more trips but there would be less money for the trips.  I will sign up to be a sub and a tutor if it looks like I'll need to in April.  The issue is we won't know for sure until August.  It's best to be signed up before then. 

We can put the trailer up for sale, but I'm hoping we can afford to store it somewhere else once we take it out this summer. 

I am not sure we should redo the deck at this time.  Maybe we can just repair some boards and let it go at that.  I don't want to be left with no emergency cash.  I am worried about our debt.  There's nothing I can do about our stupid habits now, but I can control it from now on.  I cannot buy anything more unless it's part of a certificate.  We have to tighten up and try to save/pay down debts.

Please God, help us make it through these tough times.  I realize that if I ask for a result, I am trying to control.  I will think positively that somehow it will all turn out ok.  We have been lucky in our lack of luck so far.  I am so grateful for that.  I love this job and want to keep it even if I sometimes feel impatient with students.  I think it is partly me and not setting good boundaries or being consistent with accountability.

I am trying to follow the literature and let go and let God.  There is nothing to be accomplished with worrying about it.  I can't know anything until after the break.  I can hope it will at least be 4 days a week and then figure out a way to make whatever happens into a positive.