For our group purpose there is but one authority - a loving God as he may express himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.
1. Am I willing to take time to discuss all points of view before reaching a decision? Does my need to be right get in the way? How? Yes, most of the time I would call myself willing. There are a few times when I don't want to change a hiking plan at the last minute because I invested too much ego in the location/activity. Most of the time I have become flexible and will go with the group's decision without being upset about it. Sometimes I feel angry or sad if people don't like what I planned and try to change it at the last minute for no reason. I think that if they signed up, they need to be willing to do what was planned or just not sign up. If we need to change for other reasons like weather, I am much more adaptable.
2. How do I participate in my group's business? I attend the business meetings and speak up as I feel necessary. Currently, I am still in the learning phase so I don't always have enough info to make an informed contribution so my way to contribute is to continue learning and working the program.
3. Do I listen to others in the group discussion with an open mind? For the most part. If someone seems domineering, I turn off. If someone starts preaching one religion, I turn off. However, I am learning that everyone has a voice - even those I may not think have something to tell me. I am working to listen because I may hear God's voice coming out of that person. I don't want to miss an opportunity for God's guidance.
4. What am I willing to do for service work? I am willing to help out before and after meetings. I am also willing to drive those who don't live too far for me. I tend to be pressed for time due to having to make time to earn a living so I am limited by time. My other major service work is to my hiking group meaning there is not enough time for me to take on an office now as I basically am president of my group. I just had an epiphany that I could rotate that duty.
5. Does my group practice rotation of leadership positions? Yes.
6. What can I do to contribute to service in my group and elsewhere? I can look for any place in my day where I can be a blessing to others and perform that service - even if it's just bringing a smile to someone's face.
7. Has my group ever taken a group conscience? Yes. I didn't really participate much as it was my third or so time ever, and I didn't know anything to add so I listened. I didn't go to my new home group's because of conflicts with the hiking group. Next year, I need to make sure to attend. I would like to learn from this process.
8. Does everyone in our group participate in the group process? No. Several regular members seemed to be absent.
9. What can I do if one members starts to dominate the group? I think this is something I need to discuss sometime with our group - what is our policy. How can we kindly say something or give a signal?
10. What is the difference between Al-Anon leadership and governing? Everyone is equal in Al-Anon. There is no hierarchy as there is in government and companies. We all have a voice.
11. How am I willing to support the group conscience if I don't agree with it? Like the example of not saying the Lord's Prayer for those who are not of the Judeo-Christian belief, I supported the ultimate decision of allowing it. I will recite it if called upon to do so and hope that it does not turn away people seeking our help.
12. Am I contributing to the health of my group? How? I make a commitment to be at meetings and share helpful suggestions rather than just griping. I listen to others with a loving attitude so they can get the help of the group's power. I help out at meetings. I will call someone if I feel a concern about them.
13. Do I bring my concerns to group level with love? How? I am working on courage to speak up for what I believe and at least be heard even if it changes nothing. I am learning that relationships are more important than being right or getting my way.
14. How am I a leader and a trusted servant? How can I be a leader without "being in charge"? I give the group choices. I listen and am working not to gossip. I am trying to discuss what to do before we start a trail. I encourage by example and no longer complaining about my life. I lead by attraction not by trying to force my will on others. I try to explain that it's the fun and support of being together more than some destination. I do what I say I will.
15. Am I being honest with myself and others? I hold back in some ways, but I am trying to face my fear of not being liked if someone really sees me.
16. Am I trying to control and to convince others that I am right? I did this until my eyes were opened by the Al-Anon program; now I am trying to let go and not justify my actions or push my agenda.
17/ Do I give up my responsibilities and then blame others if things go wrong? No. I was big into blame but not because I gave up my responsibilities but rather because I couldn't see my part in the situations.
18. Am I listening for God's words in others? What do I hear? Yes. I am hearing ways I might employ to face my situation. Mostly I am hearing over and over to let go of that worry as there is nothing I can do about the situation. I hear it from many mouths. I know it is true. I still struggle with it as it has been my constant companion. Now I want God for my constant companion not the heartache and worries about finances, kids, job etc.
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