How frustrating that I lost all the other work that I did!
Leadership area CAR: Set up new programs at SVC and Sedro-Woolley - school and wider community involvement; because I wanted to keep up with my languages I had the idea to set up a language exchange, day long shadow, keypals and conversation partner program. I had to design a way to market the programs, help students get started; then check in with them periodically as well as some get togethers to keep the program alive. Results: students learned from each other - South/North Korea; typical day in the other culture, that there is still a lot of prejudice out there, practiced language and friendships developed so int'l students felt less isolated. One student even decided to convince parents to be a host family.
Event organizer: SVC activities, Japanese Club, Outdoor Group, friends - lots of details to give everyone a great experience
Learned Flexibility: Organized a trip to Mt. Baker; person called 8:30 a.m. to say couldn't make it; that person was to drive etc.; just wasn't sure she could go. I told her that if she couldn't go, it was her responsiblity to find another driver/food contribution since I was working and was not the one who couldn't go. She didn't drop out, but there have been other times when I needed to be completely flexible and change all details at the last minute.
Most Difficult Events at Work: Student Death SVC; Chrysalis, stalker, kid with creative homework stories/his angry father
Good Qualities:
Caring:
Dependable: don't miss work unless child emergency or truly sick
Developed positive attitude/feel like I can connect to children and adults due to some tragic and joyous life experiences giving me empathy I could not have had without those.
Strategic Planning CAR: I started at SWHS without any real teacher training one day before school and walked into a classroom in shambles. I put it together in a pleasing fashion, worked on lesson plans for the first week, made and copied syllabi, and then worked through many evenings and weekends to come up with a curriculum: I started with surveys and other get to know types of activities designed to build rapport with me and their fellow students (name game in language, icebreakers, how do you learn best . . . ), developed learning goals for each lesson, each unit, each quarter, each semester, and a checklist for each quarter - one students could use; designed activities for each theme; then put together informal and formal assessments for learning. I set up a suggestion box with the proviso that it be positive, and I would incorporate their suggestions. I had them check each other's work using rubrics so that they could get better at self correction. I had them evaluate me, whether the lesson met the goal for them that week, what was still confusing, what they felt they understood well. Students met those goals. I had very few fail because I would invite them for academic help and informal chats about life.
Problem Solving CAR: As you can imagine, not having teacher training before my first ever high school class meant I had to figure out classroom management quickly. I explored several options just to see how they would work and kept track of how much on task time there was. I eventually found that seating charts with partners and groups of 4 that rotated every two weeks seemed to work best to start the year. I could motivate students by saying that if they did well all week, they could sit by friends on Fridays as long as they were able to be reasonably on task. Another practice that worked well was if they worked hard all week, we would have a quiz Friday and after that, we could do something fun such as a game in the language, a craft, or part of a movie. Most of the time students were on task. I do ongoing evaluations so that students have input, and I do my best to incorporate all relevant feedback.
**Motivated Abilities:
1. Organizing Events/Planning Activities
2. Chatting about life informally; mutual learning and sharing of ways to be positive about life's challenges and problem solving = mentoring others - love to help people learn new jobs, skills, etc.
3. Studying and Sharing languages and cultures
4. Self improvement
5. Read and Write
6. Outdoor programs
**30 Second Pitch:
I have over 15 years of experience in teaching and advising. What I really enjoy is planning activities, interacting with others, mentoring others, sharing languages and cultures, and learning from other people (including my students) as I feel we are all works in progress. There is no point at which we are masters and done learning and improving what we do. I have lots of energy and like to get students moving and being active and laughing. The best moments are when we are having fun in this dance of learning. I will share things I have done in certain situations as appropriate if I feel it will help them on their journey through life.
As a result, I have been able to establish rapport with students and motivate and encourage them to learn a new language. I make it as fun and interesting as possible by sharing anecdotes of life in other cultures and entertaining mistakes I have made as well as adding games, music, interactive online programs, and projects.
**The shorter version of the above:
I assist students to become lifelong learners, develop good study skills for any subject, and in particular develop foundational skills in the language - enough to be able to communicate and beyond depending on how many years they study.
Most school mission statements include:
1. inspire excellence
2. develop intellectual curiosity
3. multicultural understanding and acceptance
4. act responsibly
5. develop critical thinking
6 connect the dots
7. foster compassionate community
I model intellectual curiosity as whenever someone talks about something I don't know, I ask about it and say how fun it is to learn something new daily or if no-one knows anything about some reference in a current event, etc., I say "who wants to find out about that and report back" I will have groups take over a topic to share with the group or do a 10-minute teach on a grammar point as teaching promotes deeper learning. Enthusiasm in contagious.
Critical thinking: applying rules to real life situations; understand the whys behind different cultural viewpoints, memorizing stimulates the brain
Connect dots: language and culture go together, learn history, art, geography, music, and literature as part of language study; the grammar and vocab helps them with English
Act responsibly: learn to relate to partners or members of group you don't necessary like; rotate leadership of group, work on motivating others to do their share, build knowledge to be informed citizens; class is not always about content but is person centered - look for teachable moments
Compassion: think about the effect of your actions upon others
Multicultural: compare/contrast other world viewpoints; explore your personal feelings and values and look at what is the same with others and what could be different; develop respect for differences and think how boring life would be if we were all the same.
Excellence: having the courage to say "I don't know. Let's find out together". Encourage quality over quantity in homework/tasks for class - positive comments about their strengths and encourage in one area of improvement; then move to another area. Model excellence in my preparation and integrity.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Tradition Seven: Every Group Ought to Be Self-Supporting, Declining Outside Contributions
1. What does fully self supporting mean to me? It means that we pay our own way. We do not look to outside agencies to pay for our group. Each of us does our best to contribute equally.
2. How do I support my group? I put in money each week plus I do some service work. Eventually, I will take on a bigger chunk of service work if possible. I have another group that takes a lot of my time. I put both time and money into it. I encourage others to share the cost by paying minimal dues each year as well as asking them to put activities on the calendar.
3. What can I do this week to contibute to the support of my gorup and to myself? I can maintain spending boundaries with the help of God's strength, and I can chip in my usual money each week. I can help with clean up and set up.
4. Do I consider the group needs when I contribute? Am I willing to toss in a little extra to help someone attend a conference etc.? Yes, I put in extra when someone calls for it - not too much because that would lead to someone else being resentful or perhaps my own pride.
5. Do I personally contribute to the WSO triannual appeal? I will when it comes around again. I have supported the group by going to at least one of the annual fund raising events.
6. If members of my group do not understand the triannual appeal, am I willing to explain it? Sure - once I also know exactly what it is about.
7. Does my group pay a fair rent and have enough literature? It seems our rent is fair; we tend to have several copies of pamphlets and books on hand. We just ordered more literature and paid for the GR to go to Seabeck.
8. Do I encourage business meetings for my group? I don't set them up or pay close attention to when, but I do try to stay when I am able. I have attended most of them.
9. In what ways other than financial do I support my group? I set up a retreat for a few people and may try to have a bigger one sometime. I help clean up and sometimes to set up. I am there weekly. I have provided rides on several occasions. I also chair from time to time.
10. What benefits have I received when I volunteer? It is a good feeling to do something for others.
11. How often do we rotate service positions? I believe I heard it was every 3 years, but the GR seems to change more often than that. Chairing changes each week. Do we expect a few people to hold up the rest of us? It does seem to be the same people involved.
12. What could I do to encourage less active members to get involved? Am I as active as I would like to be? I am as active as I can be seeing as how my outdoor group is a huge commitment as are family and work obligations. I tend to stress out if I do much more than this. That said, I feel I "should" be more active. I try to encourage members of the outdoor group to get involved by deliberately not volunteering to host everything. I will help them with ideas and setting up an activity and answer questions. I also solicit ideas from others. Still I find that most people are content to sit back and let others do the work and carry the responsibility. I'm just not letting myself stress out about it anymore. I can try reaching out to individuals, but I feel that often they step up out of guilt; then don't come through. It's a tricky time in society as many just feel overwhelmed already.
13. Do we expect members to use personal funds to purchase coffee and other supplies? I don't believe so.
14. Do I support all parts of Al-Anon? I do go to annual fundraisers and believe those funds are for the wider good of our district and WSO, but I need to get more educated.
15. What does my group do to support district, WSO? We send reps and have people in district positions. We have separate contribution baskets for certain fund drives. What benefits do we get from membership in WSO? We can expect help anywhere we might go.
16. Do I subscribe to the Forum? No. Do I purchase gift subscriptions? No.
17. Does my group have a Treasurer who gives reports? Yes. I hear some reports but am not always at the same meetings. Do we have a prudent reserve? Yes. I have heard Donna talk about it. We are not stockpiling moneys for no reason.
18. Do I understand the spiritual aspects of contributing? Yes. I know it is important to take self responsibility in order to have self respect.
19. Is my self-worth based on how much others need me? No, but I know it is a good feeling to be needed and to feel that people like to be around me so I do believe that in some part my self worth comes from being able to be a blessing to others. I do not encourage others to become dependent on me, though. I try to help them become independent.
20. Am I afraid of letting go? It is a challenge for me. Letting go of worry and the need to fix is challenging, but I want to be free.
21. Do I realized I can't have the respect of others if I don't stand on my own two feet? Yes. I am overly responsible in this area to the point where asking anything of others is a challenge.
22. Do I contribute to my own well-being? Am I fully self supporting? Do I expect to remain so? I do. I am doing my best to get enough work to maintain independence from others and maintain a prudent reserve in finances. Maintaining boundaries is getting a bit better. I would not call myself self supporting as I need my husband's income to maintain what we have. I feel burdened by stuff and don't really want the big house unless we can share it with compatible others to help pay for it. Trouble is there weren't much cheaper options at the time and I was stuck in the idea I could entertain, etc. with a nice house. I no longer care much about that and wish we weren't house poor.
23. Can I accept and express my feelings to others without feeling bad about it or justifying? I am learning to do this. I would have said no 15 months ago.
24. Do I take responsiblity for my own feelings and not blame them on others? I am improving in this regard also.
25. Is my happiness circumstance dependent or am I looking to myself for fulfillment? I can still get pulled around a bit by the desires and feelings of others, but I am working toward freedom from this and self growth by the help of God.
2. How do I support my group? I put in money each week plus I do some service work. Eventually, I will take on a bigger chunk of service work if possible. I have another group that takes a lot of my time. I put both time and money into it. I encourage others to share the cost by paying minimal dues each year as well as asking them to put activities on the calendar.
3. What can I do this week to contibute to the support of my gorup and to myself? I can maintain spending boundaries with the help of God's strength, and I can chip in my usual money each week. I can help with clean up and set up.
4. Do I consider the group needs when I contribute? Am I willing to toss in a little extra to help someone attend a conference etc.? Yes, I put in extra when someone calls for it - not too much because that would lead to someone else being resentful or perhaps my own pride.
5. Do I personally contribute to the WSO triannual appeal? I will when it comes around again. I have supported the group by going to at least one of the annual fund raising events.
6. If members of my group do not understand the triannual appeal, am I willing to explain it? Sure - once I also know exactly what it is about.
7. Does my group pay a fair rent and have enough literature? It seems our rent is fair; we tend to have several copies of pamphlets and books on hand. We just ordered more literature and paid for the GR to go to Seabeck.
8. Do I encourage business meetings for my group? I don't set them up or pay close attention to when, but I do try to stay when I am able. I have attended most of them.
9. In what ways other than financial do I support my group? I set up a retreat for a few people and may try to have a bigger one sometime. I help clean up and sometimes to set up. I am there weekly. I have provided rides on several occasions. I also chair from time to time.
10. What benefits have I received when I volunteer? It is a good feeling to do something for others.
11. How often do we rotate service positions? I believe I heard it was every 3 years, but the GR seems to change more often than that. Chairing changes each week. Do we expect a few people to hold up the rest of us? It does seem to be the same people involved.
12. What could I do to encourage less active members to get involved? Am I as active as I would like to be? I am as active as I can be seeing as how my outdoor group is a huge commitment as are family and work obligations. I tend to stress out if I do much more than this. That said, I feel I "should" be more active. I try to encourage members of the outdoor group to get involved by deliberately not volunteering to host everything. I will help them with ideas and setting up an activity and answer questions. I also solicit ideas from others. Still I find that most people are content to sit back and let others do the work and carry the responsibility. I'm just not letting myself stress out about it anymore. I can try reaching out to individuals, but I feel that often they step up out of guilt; then don't come through. It's a tricky time in society as many just feel overwhelmed already.
13. Do we expect members to use personal funds to purchase coffee and other supplies? I don't believe so.
14. Do I support all parts of Al-Anon? I do go to annual fundraisers and believe those funds are for the wider good of our district and WSO, but I need to get more educated.
15. What does my group do to support district, WSO? We send reps and have people in district positions. We have separate contribution baskets for certain fund drives. What benefits do we get from membership in WSO? We can expect help anywhere we might go.
16. Do I subscribe to the Forum? No. Do I purchase gift subscriptions? No.
17. Does my group have a Treasurer who gives reports? Yes. I hear some reports but am not always at the same meetings. Do we have a prudent reserve? Yes. I have heard Donna talk about it. We are not stockpiling moneys for no reason.
18. Do I understand the spiritual aspects of contributing? Yes. I know it is important to take self responsibility in order to have self respect.
19. Is my self-worth based on how much others need me? No, but I know it is a good feeling to be needed and to feel that people like to be around me so I do believe that in some part my self worth comes from being able to be a blessing to others. I do not encourage others to become dependent on me, though. I try to help them become independent.
20. Am I afraid of letting go? It is a challenge for me. Letting go of worry and the need to fix is challenging, but I want to be free.
21. Do I realized I can't have the respect of others if I don't stand on my own two feet? Yes. I am overly responsible in this area to the point where asking anything of others is a challenge.
22. Do I contribute to my own well-being? Am I fully self supporting? Do I expect to remain so? I do. I am doing my best to get enough work to maintain independence from others and maintain a prudent reserve in finances. Maintaining boundaries is getting a bit better. I would not call myself self supporting as I need my husband's income to maintain what we have. I feel burdened by stuff and don't really want the big house unless we can share it with compatible others to help pay for it. Trouble is there weren't much cheaper options at the time and I was stuck in the idea I could entertain, etc. with a nice house. I no longer care much about that and wish we weren't house poor.
23. Can I accept and express my feelings to others without feeling bad about it or justifying? I am learning to do this. I would have said no 15 months ago.
24. Do I take responsiblity for my own feelings and not blame them on others? I am improving in this regard also.
25. Is my happiness circumstance dependent or am I looking to myself for fulfillment? I can still get pulled around a bit by the desires and feelings of others, but I am working toward freedom from this and self growth by the help of God.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Tradition Six: Our AFG ought never endorse, finance, or lend our name to any outside enterprise
1. Why do we not "endorse, finance, or lend our name to any outside enterprise? How is this principle used in our business meetings? It would be like advice giving. It could backfire as it is our opinion as to its worth, but it may not be a good choice for others. We do not put other recovery programs in our literature or discuss them as part of our business.
2. Has my group ever had problems with money or property? How were those problems resolved? Not to my knowledge.
3. Have I or any member of my group allowed prestige to divert us from our primary spiritual aim? When? Why? What did we change? Not that I can see.
4. How does my group cooperate with AA? When? I believe the annual picnic is open to AA members.
5. In planning a group fund-raising activity, has my group considered this Tradition? As nearly as I can tell from 15 months with the group, it follows this Tradition well.
6. Does my group have CAL prominently displayed? Yes. Do I use CAL in my personal recovery? Yes.
7. Does my group sell or promote outside literature? No. How does this violate Tradition 6? We cannot include it in meetings. Do I have the courage to discuss the use of literature at a meeting? I have never had to or sometimes don't recognize if it's outside. Viki brought it up when someone read from the "promises".
8. How do I consider cooperation with AA in my service work? I would be happy to help with AA if asked. My daughter is quite active there. I wanted to join some of the hikes with them.
9. Why should group funds support only Al-Anon programs? It is important to support our program only because we need to have the funds to help families of alcoholics as our primary purpose. If there is extra, we can provide scholarships to Al-Anon events.
10. Has our group phone list ever been used for promotional purposes? No.
11. How can I discourage members, without embarrassing them, from bringing outside enterprises into our meetings? Personally, I would take the member aside after the meeting or at some point reiterate to the group in general what the policy is but not right after someone has shared as I saw what happens when that was done a few weeks ago. I don't think that person will ever return. I thought it was done respectfully, but it didn't need all the back and forth for 30 minutes.
12. Am I allowing material or financial concerns to gain priority over my personal spiritual needs and serenity? Sometimes. It is hard not to be a bit anxious in this economy, but I get busy working the program whenever I begin to worry about my job or other financial concersn.
13. Am I allowing personal problems or successes to overwhelm me? Am I letting them get in the way of how I treat others? This is a timely reminder that no matter what is happening I need to take a minute to recompose myself and be sure to treat others kindly rather than getting thick into obsession and not pay attention to the other person. I do sometimes still let myself get overwhelmed. Right now I feel pressure about finances, worry about Sequim bank, and getting son to treatment and back to school and a life.
14. How can I apply our slogan "Live and Let Live" to this tradition? I follow my program and remember to only talk about Al-Anon at meetings. I can do other things to help myself, but they do not have a place in Al-Anon meetings.
15. How can I apply our slogan "Let Go and Let God"? I need to let worries about Al-Anon service etc rest with God who strengthens me. He will take my cares and let me know when I need to take action and what kind of action to take.
16. How do I help my group meet our primary spiritual aim? I share what in Al-Anon has helped me with my group in the hopes that by sharing and giving support to others they will experience the healing power I have found in these rooms.
17. When participatin at an AA convention or roundup, do Al-Anon members have badges or logs from Al-Anon? I don't know. I have no experience with this.
2. Has my group ever had problems with money or property? How were those problems resolved? Not to my knowledge.
3. Have I or any member of my group allowed prestige to divert us from our primary spiritual aim? When? Why? What did we change? Not that I can see.
4. How does my group cooperate with AA? When? I believe the annual picnic is open to AA members.
5. In planning a group fund-raising activity, has my group considered this Tradition? As nearly as I can tell from 15 months with the group, it follows this Tradition well.
6. Does my group have CAL prominently displayed? Yes. Do I use CAL in my personal recovery? Yes.
7. Does my group sell or promote outside literature? No. How does this violate Tradition 6? We cannot include it in meetings. Do I have the courage to discuss the use of literature at a meeting? I have never had to or sometimes don't recognize if it's outside. Viki brought it up when someone read from the "promises".
8. How do I consider cooperation with AA in my service work? I would be happy to help with AA if asked. My daughter is quite active there. I wanted to join some of the hikes with them.
9. Why should group funds support only Al-Anon programs? It is important to support our program only because we need to have the funds to help families of alcoholics as our primary purpose. If there is extra, we can provide scholarships to Al-Anon events.
10. Has our group phone list ever been used for promotional purposes? No.
11. How can I discourage members, without embarrassing them, from bringing outside enterprises into our meetings? Personally, I would take the member aside after the meeting or at some point reiterate to the group in general what the policy is but not right after someone has shared as I saw what happens when that was done a few weeks ago. I don't think that person will ever return. I thought it was done respectfully, but it didn't need all the back and forth for 30 minutes.
12. Am I allowing material or financial concerns to gain priority over my personal spiritual needs and serenity? Sometimes. It is hard not to be a bit anxious in this economy, but I get busy working the program whenever I begin to worry about my job or other financial concersn.
13. Am I allowing personal problems or successes to overwhelm me? Am I letting them get in the way of how I treat others? This is a timely reminder that no matter what is happening I need to take a minute to recompose myself and be sure to treat others kindly rather than getting thick into obsession and not pay attention to the other person. I do sometimes still let myself get overwhelmed. Right now I feel pressure about finances, worry about Sequim bank, and getting son to treatment and back to school and a life.
14. How can I apply our slogan "Live and Let Live" to this tradition? I follow my program and remember to only talk about Al-Anon at meetings. I can do other things to help myself, but they do not have a place in Al-Anon meetings.
15. How can I apply our slogan "Let Go and Let God"? I need to let worries about Al-Anon service etc rest with God who strengthens me. He will take my cares and let me know when I need to take action and what kind of action to take.
16. How do I help my group meet our primary spiritual aim? I share what in Al-Anon has helped me with my group in the hopes that by sharing and giving support to others they will experience the healing power I have found in these rooms.
17. When participatin at an AA convention or roundup, do Al-Anon members have badges or logs from Al-Anon? I don't know. I have no experience with this.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Tradition Five: our purpose
1. How do I describe our primary purpose in a meeting? to a newcomer? I would say that our purpose is to support each other in our efforts to change our own thinking and behavior. By doing so, everyone around us could be helped but certainly we will begin to feel better.
2. Do I put my recovery first, ahead of others' needs? When? How? Usually. I do not decide not to go to a meeting because a child/husband wants me to do something. I work on my program daily - even if it is not as much as I would like to do. I realize that if I do nothing, I spin out of control again.
3. Do I realize that welcoming and comforting is not limited to newcomers? Why? Yes. I attempt to be kind to other people in all parts of my life. I also need to beware of cliquish behavior. I may feel closer to some people in Al-Anon, but it is important to share and be kind and inclusive to all.
4. Am I welcoming to all newcomers , no matter what their problems? How can I guide them to focus on the alcohol-related aspect of those problems? I remind myself always to greet and say a welcome. I tend to be shy, but I think sometimes that gives off an unwelcoming vibe; therefore, I am pushing myself to have a friendly smile. I can ask what is going on in their lives and give them a time to vent; then suggest some work in the books to help them move away from complaining.
5. How can I be more "newcomer" friendly? I need to keep pushing myself to take the time to talk to them after a meeting and say again "welcome; keep coming back".
6. How do I welcome long time members or those who have come back after a long absence? I always say that "it is good to see you again" and ask about how things are going. I have a friendly smile for all.
7. How might my group give newcomers individual attention? We have a newcomers' blurb, but it might be good to decide ahead who will share step 1 so there's no lag plus I have heard that bigger groups have a special newcomers' group - someone volunteers to take them to another room and talk about the program in more depth. I would have found that useful. I bought the books and kind of oriented myself.
8. Do I ever call newcomers or someone who has been missing from the group? Yes, I did that but only once. I felt a particular connection with her. She has never returned but had told me she would. I am reminded of Joel's last sermon in which he told us to "sic" the prodigals. He said if we notice someone missing, we need to contact them and say "We miss you. We need you. We love you". I think I need to try to do something like that at least once a week. I have not done well with the other member calls. I am good about keeping the time with my sponsor but not so great about contacting others.
9. As a group, how do we use steps and traditions to help families of alcoholics? Each meeting has a theme. Each month there is one meeting devoted to a step and one to a tradition. By doing this, all steps and traditions are explored. I believe this is wonderful for all of us as it gives us more insight into how others have worked them.
10. What can we do as a group to make our fellowship known to those outside of Al-Anon? We help with the phone tree so that if someone calls needing info, we can give info about the program and the meeting schedule. Once we are well into healing, I believe that people will want what we have: positive attitude. If people asked me about the changes, I tell them. I also will tell anyone who confesses a problem with alcohol in a relative or friend as I think sometimes people don't know about the help that is out there.
11. How can I help others understand that alcoholism is a disease? I will share this information whenever I hear someone say something that shows they are misinformed. It may not change their mind, but the seeds have been at least planted. When there is a celebrity rehab, I will talk about that person with compassion not the awful gossip or put downs most will use.
12. What does comfort mean to me? How can I extend that to another? Comfort means feeling listened to and understood. A knowing look, a kind word, a hug . . . these are all part of it for me. When people nod when I talk, I know I am not alone. I can listen to others and nod because I do understand. I can be there for that phone call or some other service.
13. What does encouraging the alcoholic mean to me? How might I react differently if the diseased person in my life had diabetes or cancer? Encouraging means being respectful and not nagging all the time. I need to say my opinion once; then let it be. Shaming does not work. There would be no shame if the person had another illness. Being kind.
2. Do I put my recovery first, ahead of others' needs? When? How? Usually. I do not decide not to go to a meeting because a child/husband wants me to do something. I work on my program daily - even if it is not as much as I would like to do. I realize that if I do nothing, I spin out of control again.
3. Do I realize that welcoming and comforting is not limited to newcomers? Why? Yes. I attempt to be kind to other people in all parts of my life. I also need to beware of cliquish behavior. I may feel closer to some people in Al-Anon, but it is important to share and be kind and inclusive to all.
4. Am I welcoming to all newcomers , no matter what their problems? How can I guide them to focus on the alcohol-related aspect of those problems? I remind myself always to greet and say a welcome. I tend to be shy, but I think sometimes that gives off an unwelcoming vibe; therefore, I am pushing myself to have a friendly smile. I can ask what is going on in their lives and give them a time to vent; then suggest some work in the books to help them move away from complaining.
5. How can I be more "newcomer" friendly? I need to keep pushing myself to take the time to talk to them after a meeting and say again "welcome; keep coming back".
6. How do I welcome long time members or those who have come back after a long absence? I always say that "it is good to see you again" and ask about how things are going. I have a friendly smile for all.
7. How might my group give newcomers individual attention? We have a newcomers' blurb, but it might be good to decide ahead who will share step 1 so there's no lag plus I have heard that bigger groups have a special newcomers' group - someone volunteers to take them to another room and talk about the program in more depth. I would have found that useful. I bought the books and kind of oriented myself.
8. Do I ever call newcomers or someone who has been missing from the group? Yes, I did that but only once. I felt a particular connection with her. She has never returned but had told me she would. I am reminded of Joel's last sermon in which he told us to "sic" the prodigals. He said if we notice someone missing, we need to contact them and say "We miss you. We need you. We love you". I think I need to try to do something like that at least once a week. I have not done well with the other member calls. I am good about keeping the time with my sponsor but not so great about contacting others.
9. As a group, how do we use steps and traditions to help families of alcoholics? Each meeting has a theme. Each month there is one meeting devoted to a step and one to a tradition. By doing this, all steps and traditions are explored. I believe this is wonderful for all of us as it gives us more insight into how others have worked them.
10. What can we do as a group to make our fellowship known to those outside of Al-Anon? We help with the phone tree so that if someone calls needing info, we can give info about the program and the meeting schedule. Once we are well into healing, I believe that people will want what we have: positive attitude. If people asked me about the changes, I tell them. I also will tell anyone who confesses a problem with alcohol in a relative or friend as I think sometimes people don't know about the help that is out there.
11. How can I help others understand that alcoholism is a disease? I will share this information whenever I hear someone say something that shows they are misinformed. It may not change their mind, but the seeds have been at least planted. When there is a celebrity rehab, I will talk about that person with compassion not the awful gossip or put downs most will use.
12. What does comfort mean to me? How can I extend that to another? Comfort means feeling listened to and understood. A knowing look, a kind word, a hug . . . these are all part of it for me. When people nod when I talk, I know I am not alone. I can listen to others and nod because I do understand. I can be there for that phone call or some other service.
13. What does encouraging the alcoholic mean to me? How might I react differently if the diseased person in my life had diabetes or cancer? Encouraging means being respectful and not nagging all the time. I need to say my opinion once; then let it be. Shaming does not work. There would be no shame if the person had another illness. Being kind.
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