1. Miracles come in "Cans".
2. I can. I will.
3. God loves me unconditionally, and I am right with God.
4. I am an unrepeatable miracle.
5. I can do all things with Christ who strengthens me.
6. The holy spirit lives within me.
7. I can be a blessing to others.
8. I am slow to offend and quick to forgive.
9. God has an amazing plan for my life. I need not worry.
10. I will not fear.
11. I can be pitiful, or I can be powerful. I cannot be both. I choose to be powerful.
12. I am talented, gifted, a child of the most high God.
13. I can do it all with a smile on my face.
14. I will treasure each day as if it were my last.
15. I will tell my family I love them as often as I can.
16. I can lose weight.
17. I will live in joy.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Interview Prep
How frustrating that I lost all the other work that I did!
Leadership area CAR: Set up new programs at SVC and Sedro-Woolley - school and wider community involvement; because I wanted to keep up with my languages I had the idea to set up a language exchange, day long shadow, keypals and conversation partner program. I had to design a way to market the programs, help students get started; then check in with them periodically as well as some get togethers to keep the program alive. Results: students learned from each other - South/North Korea; typical day in the other culture, that there is still a lot of prejudice out there, practiced language and friendships developed so int'l students felt less isolated. One student even decided to convince parents to be a host family.
Event organizer: SVC activities, Japanese Club, Outdoor Group, friends - lots of details to give everyone a great experience
Learned Flexibility: Organized a trip to Mt. Baker; person called 8:30 a.m. to say couldn't make it; that person was to drive etc.; just wasn't sure she could go. I told her that if she couldn't go, it was her responsiblity to find another driver/food contribution since I was working and was not the one who couldn't go. She didn't drop out, but there have been other times when I needed to be completely flexible and change all details at the last minute.
Most Difficult Events at Work: Student Death SVC; Chrysalis, stalker, kid with creative homework stories/his angry father
Good Qualities:
Caring:
Dependable: don't miss work unless child emergency or truly sick
Developed positive attitude/feel like I can connect to children and adults due to some tragic and joyous life experiences giving me empathy I could not have had without those.
Strategic Planning CAR: I started at SWHS without any real teacher training one day before school and walked into a classroom in shambles. I put it together in a pleasing fashion, worked on lesson plans for the first week, made and copied syllabi, and then worked through many evenings and weekends to come up with a curriculum: I started with surveys and other get to know types of activities designed to build rapport with me and their fellow students (name game in language, icebreakers, how do you learn best . . . ), developed learning goals for each lesson, each unit, each quarter, each semester, and a checklist for each quarter - one students could use; designed activities for each theme; then put together informal and formal assessments for learning. I set up a suggestion box with the proviso that it be positive, and I would incorporate their suggestions. I had them check each other's work using rubrics so that they could get better at self correction. I had them evaluate me, whether the lesson met the goal for them that week, what was still confusing, what they felt they understood well. Students met those goals. I had very few fail because I would invite them for academic help and informal chats about life.
Problem Solving CAR: As you can imagine, not having teacher training before my first ever high school class meant I had to figure out classroom management quickly. I explored several options just to see how they would work and kept track of how much on task time there was. I eventually found that seating charts with partners and groups of 4 that rotated every two weeks seemed to work best to start the year. I could motivate students by saying that if they did well all week, they could sit by friends on Fridays as long as they were able to be reasonably on task. Another practice that worked well was if they worked hard all week, we would have a quiz Friday and after that, we could do something fun such as a game in the language, a craft, or part of a movie. Most of the time students were on task. I do ongoing evaluations so that students have input, and I do my best to incorporate all relevant feedback.
**Motivated Abilities:
1. Organizing Events/Planning Activities
2. Chatting about life informally; mutual learning and sharing of ways to be positive about life's challenges and problem solving = mentoring others - love to help people learn new jobs, skills, etc.
3. Studying and Sharing languages and cultures
4. Self improvement
5. Read and Write
6. Outdoor programs
**30 Second Pitch:
I have over 15 years of experience in teaching and advising. What I really enjoy is planning activities, interacting with others, mentoring others, sharing languages and cultures, and learning from other people (including my students) as I feel we are all works in progress. There is no point at which we are masters and done learning and improving what we do. I have lots of energy and like to get students moving and being active and laughing. The best moments are when we are having fun in this dance of learning. I will share things I have done in certain situations as appropriate if I feel it will help them on their journey through life.
As a result, I have been able to establish rapport with students and motivate and encourage them to learn a new language. I make it as fun and interesting as possible by sharing anecdotes of life in other cultures and entertaining mistakes I have made as well as adding games, music, interactive online programs, and projects.
**The shorter version of the above:
I assist students to become lifelong learners, develop good study skills for any subject, and in particular develop foundational skills in the language - enough to be able to communicate and beyond depending on how many years they study.
Most school mission statements include:
1. inspire excellence
2. develop intellectual curiosity
3. multicultural understanding and acceptance
4. act responsibly
5. develop critical thinking
6 connect the dots
7. foster compassionate community
I model intellectual curiosity as whenever someone talks about something I don't know, I ask about it and say how fun it is to learn something new daily or if no-one knows anything about some reference in a current event, etc., I say "who wants to find out about that and report back" I will have groups take over a topic to share with the group or do a 10-minute teach on a grammar point as teaching promotes deeper learning. Enthusiasm in contagious.
Critical thinking: applying rules to real life situations; understand the whys behind different cultural viewpoints, memorizing stimulates the brain
Connect dots: language and culture go together, learn history, art, geography, music, and literature as part of language study; the grammar and vocab helps them with English
Act responsibly: learn to relate to partners or members of group you don't necessary like; rotate leadership of group, work on motivating others to do their share, build knowledge to be informed citizens; class is not always about content but is person centered - look for teachable moments
Compassion: think about the effect of your actions upon others
Multicultural: compare/contrast other world viewpoints; explore your personal feelings and values and look at what is the same with others and what could be different; develop respect for differences and think how boring life would be if we were all the same.
Excellence: having the courage to say "I don't know. Let's find out together". Encourage quality over quantity in homework/tasks for class - positive comments about their strengths and encourage in one area of improvement; then move to another area. Model excellence in my preparation and integrity.
Leadership area CAR: Set up new programs at SVC and Sedro-Woolley - school and wider community involvement; because I wanted to keep up with my languages I had the idea to set up a language exchange, day long shadow, keypals and conversation partner program. I had to design a way to market the programs, help students get started; then check in with them periodically as well as some get togethers to keep the program alive. Results: students learned from each other - South/North Korea; typical day in the other culture, that there is still a lot of prejudice out there, practiced language and friendships developed so int'l students felt less isolated. One student even decided to convince parents to be a host family.
Event organizer: SVC activities, Japanese Club, Outdoor Group, friends - lots of details to give everyone a great experience
Learned Flexibility: Organized a trip to Mt. Baker; person called 8:30 a.m. to say couldn't make it; that person was to drive etc.; just wasn't sure she could go. I told her that if she couldn't go, it was her responsiblity to find another driver/food contribution since I was working and was not the one who couldn't go. She didn't drop out, but there have been other times when I needed to be completely flexible and change all details at the last minute.
Most Difficult Events at Work: Student Death SVC; Chrysalis, stalker, kid with creative homework stories/his angry father
Good Qualities:
Caring:
Dependable: don't miss work unless child emergency or truly sick
Developed positive attitude/feel like I can connect to children and adults due to some tragic and joyous life experiences giving me empathy I could not have had without those.
Strategic Planning CAR: I started at SWHS without any real teacher training one day before school and walked into a classroom in shambles. I put it together in a pleasing fashion, worked on lesson plans for the first week, made and copied syllabi, and then worked through many evenings and weekends to come up with a curriculum: I started with surveys and other get to know types of activities designed to build rapport with me and their fellow students (name game in language, icebreakers, how do you learn best . . . ), developed learning goals for each lesson, each unit, each quarter, each semester, and a checklist for each quarter - one students could use; designed activities for each theme; then put together informal and formal assessments for learning. I set up a suggestion box with the proviso that it be positive, and I would incorporate their suggestions. I had them check each other's work using rubrics so that they could get better at self correction. I had them evaluate me, whether the lesson met the goal for them that week, what was still confusing, what they felt they understood well. Students met those goals. I had very few fail because I would invite them for academic help and informal chats about life.
Problem Solving CAR: As you can imagine, not having teacher training before my first ever high school class meant I had to figure out classroom management quickly. I explored several options just to see how they would work and kept track of how much on task time there was. I eventually found that seating charts with partners and groups of 4 that rotated every two weeks seemed to work best to start the year. I could motivate students by saying that if they did well all week, they could sit by friends on Fridays as long as they were able to be reasonably on task. Another practice that worked well was if they worked hard all week, we would have a quiz Friday and after that, we could do something fun such as a game in the language, a craft, or part of a movie. Most of the time students were on task. I do ongoing evaluations so that students have input, and I do my best to incorporate all relevant feedback.
**Motivated Abilities:
1. Organizing Events/Planning Activities
2. Chatting about life informally; mutual learning and sharing of ways to be positive about life's challenges and problem solving = mentoring others - love to help people learn new jobs, skills, etc.
3. Studying and Sharing languages and cultures
4. Self improvement
5. Read and Write
6. Outdoor programs
**30 Second Pitch:
I have over 15 years of experience in teaching and advising. What I really enjoy is planning activities, interacting with others, mentoring others, sharing languages and cultures, and learning from other people (including my students) as I feel we are all works in progress. There is no point at which we are masters and done learning and improving what we do. I have lots of energy and like to get students moving and being active and laughing. The best moments are when we are having fun in this dance of learning. I will share things I have done in certain situations as appropriate if I feel it will help them on their journey through life.
As a result, I have been able to establish rapport with students and motivate and encourage them to learn a new language. I make it as fun and interesting as possible by sharing anecdotes of life in other cultures and entertaining mistakes I have made as well as adding games, music, interactive online programs, and projects.
**The shorter version of the above:
I assist students to become lifelong learners, develop good study skills for any subject, and in particular develop foundational skills in the language - enough to be able to communicate and beyond depending on how many years they study.
Most school mission statements include:
1. inspire excellence
2. develop intellectual curiosity
3. multicultural understanding and acceptance
4. act responsibly
5. develop critical thinking
6 connect the dots
7. foster compassionate community
I model intellectual curiosity as whenever someone talks about something I don't know, I ask about it and say how fun it is to learn something new daily or if no-one knows anything about some reference in a current event, etc., I say "who wants to find out about that and report back" I will have groups take over a topic to share with the group or do a 10-minute teach on a grammar point as teaching promotes deeper learning. Enthusiasm in contagious.
Critical thinking: applying rules to real life situations; understand the whys behind different cultural viewpoints, memorizing stimulates the brain
Connect dots: language and culture go together, learn history, art, geography, music, and literature as part of language study; the grammar and vocab helps them with English
Act responsibly: learn to relate to partners or members of group you don't necessary like; rotate leadership of group, work on motivating others to do their share, build knowledge to be informed citizens; class is not always about content but is person centered - look for teachable moments
Compassion: think about the effect of your actions upon others
Multicultural: compare/contrast other world viewpoints; explore your personal feelings and values and look at what is the same with others and what could be different; develop respect for differences and think how boring life would be if we were all the same.
Excellence: having the courage to say "I don't know. Let's find out together". Encourage quality over quantity in homework/tasks for class - positive comments about their strengths and encourage in one area of improvement; then move to another area. Model excellence in my preparation and integrity.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Tradition Seven: Every Group Ought to Be Self-Supporting, Declining Outside Contributions
1. What does fully self supporting mean to me? It means that we pay our own way. We do not look to outside agencies to pay for our group. Each of us does our best to contribute equally.
2. How do I support my group? I put in money each week plus I do some service work. Eventually, I will take on a bigger chunk of service work if possible. I have another group that takes a lot of my time. I put both time and money into it. I encourage others to share the cost by paying minimal dues each year as well as asking them to put activities on the calendar.
3. What can I do this week to contibute to the support of my gorup and to myself? I can maintain spending boundaries with the help of God's strength, and I can chip in my usual money each week. I can help with clean up and set up.
4. Do I consider the group needs when I contribute? Am I willing to toss in a little extra to help someone attend a conference etc.? Yes, I put in extra when someone calls for it - not too much because that would lead to someone else being resentful or perhaps my own pride.
5. Do I personally contribute to the WSO triannual appeal? I will when it comes around again. I have supported the group by going to at least one of the annual fund raising events.
6. If members of my group do not understand the triannual appeal, am I willing to explain it? Sure - once I also know exactly what it is about.
7. Does my group pay a fair rent and have enough literature? It seems our rent is fair; we tend to have several copies of pamphlets and books on hand. We just ordered more literature and paid for the GR to go to Seabeck.
8. Do I encourage business meetings for my group? I don't set them up or pay close attention to when, but I do try to stay when I am able. I have attended most of them.
9. In what ways other than financial do I support my group? I set up a retreat for a few people and may try to have a bigger one sometime. I help clean up and sometimes to set up. I am there weekly. I have provided rides on several occasions. I also chair from time to time.
10. What benefits have I received when I volunteer? It is a good feeling to do something for others.
11. How often do we rotate service positions? I believe I heard it was every 3 years, but the GR seems to change more often than that. Chairing changes each week. Do we expect a few people to hold up the rest of us? It does seem to be the same people involved.
12. What could I do to encourage less active members to get involved? Am I as active as I would like to be? I am as active as I can be seeing as how my outdoor group is a huge commitment as are family and work obligations. I tend to stress out if I do much more than this. That said, I feel I "should" be more active. I try to encourage members of the outdoor group to get involved by deliberately not volunteering to host everything. I will help them with ideas and setting up an activity and answer questions. I also solicit ideas from others. Still I find that most people are content to sit back and let others do the work and carry the responsibility. I'm just not letting myself stress out about it anymore. I can try reaching out to individuals, but I feel that often they step up out of guilt; then don't come through. It's a tricky time in society as many just feel overwhelmed already.
13. Do we expect members to use personal funds to purchase coffee and other supplies? I don't believe so.
14. Do I support all parts of Al-Anon? I do go to annual fundraisers and believe those funds are for the wider good of our district and WSO, but I need to get more educated.
15. What does my group do to support district, WSO? We send reps and have people in district positions. We have separate contribution baskets for certain fund drives. What benefits do we get from membership in WSO? We can expect help anywhere we might go.
16. Do I subscribe to the Forum? No. Do I purchase gift subscriptions? No.
17. Does my group have a Treasurer who gives reports? Yes. I hear some reports but am not always at the same meetings. Do we have a prudent reserve? Yes. I have heard Donna talk about it. We are not stockpiling moneys for no reason.
18. Do I understand the spiritual aspects of contributing? Yes. I know it is important to take self responsibility in order to have self respect.
19. Is my self-worth based on how much others need me? No, but I know it is a good feeling to be needed and to feel that people like to be around me so I do believe that in some part my self worth comes from being able to be a blessing to others. I do not encourage others to become dependent on me, though. I try to help them become independent.
20. Am I afraid of letting go? It is a challenge for me. Letting go of worry and the need to fix is challenging, but I want to be free.
21. Do I realized I can't have the respect of others if I don't stand on my own two feet? Yes. I am overly responsible in this area to the point where asking anything of others is a challenge.
22. Do I contribute to my own well-being? Am I fully self supporting? Do I expect to remain so? I do. I am doing my best to get enough work to maintain independence from others and maintain a prudent reserve in finances. Maintaining boundaries is getting a bit better. I would not call myself self supporting as I need my husband's income to maintain what we have. I feel burdened by stuff and don't really want the big house unless we can share it with compatible others to help pay for it. Trouble is there weren't much cheaper options at the time and I was stuck in the idea I could entertain, etc. with a nice house. I no longer care much about that and wish we weren't house poor.
23. Can I accept and express my feelings to others without feeling bad about it or justifying? I am learning to do this. I would have said no 15 months ago.
24. Do I take responsiblity for my own feelings and not blame them on others? I am improving in this regard also.
25. Is my happiness circumstance dependent or am I looking to myself for fulfillment? I can still get pulled around a bit by the desires and feelings of others, but I am working toward freedom from this and self growth by the help of God.
2. How do I support my group? I put in money each week plus I do some service work. Eventually, I will take on a bigger chunk of service work if possible. I have another group that takes a lot of my time. I put both time and money into it. I encourage others to share the cost by paying minimal dues each year as well as asking them to put activities on the calendar.
3. What can I do this week to contibute to the support of my gorup and to myself? I can maintain spending boundaries with the help of God's strength, and I can chip in my usual money each week. I can help with clean up and set up.
4. Do I consider the group needs when I contribute? Am I willing to toss in a little extra to help someone attend a conference etc.? Yes, I put in extra when someone calls for it - not too much because that would lead to someone else being resentful or perhaps my own pride.
5. Do I personally contribute to the WSO triannual appeal? I will when it comes around again. I have supported the group by going to at least one of the annual fund raising events.
6. If members of my group do not understand the triannual appeal, am I willing to explain it? Sure - once I also know exactly what it is about.
7. Does my group pay a fair rent and have enough literature? It seems our rent is fair; we tend to have several copies of pamphlets and books on hand. We just ordered more literature and paid for the GR to go to Seabeck.
8. Do I encourage business meetings for my group? I don't set them up or pay close attention to when, but I do try to stay when I am able. I have attended most of them.
9. In what ways other than financial do I support my group? I set up a retreat for a few people and may try to have a bigger one sometime. I help clean up and sometimes to set up. I am there weekly. I have provided rides on several occasions. I also chair from time to time.
10. What benefits have I received when I volunteer? It is a good feeling to do something for others.
11. How often do we rotate service positions? I believe I heard it was every 3 years, but the GR seems to change more often than that. Chairing changes each week. Do we expect a few people to hold up the rest of us? It does seem to be the same people involved.
12. What could I do to encourage less active members to get involved? Am I as active as I would like to be? I am as active as I can be seeing as how my outdoor group is a huge commitment as are family and work obligations. I tend to stress out if I do much more than this. That said, I feel I "should" be more active. I try to encourage members of the outdoor group to get involved by deliberately not volunteering to host everything. I will help them with ideas and setting up an activity and answer questions. I also solicit ideas from others. Still I find that most people are content to sit back and let others do the work and carry the responsibility. I'm just not letting myself stress out about it anymore. I can try reaching out to individuals, but I feel that often they step up out of guilt; then don't come through. It's a tricky time in society as many just feel overwhelmed already.
13. Do we expect members to use personal funds to purchase coffee and other supplies? I don't believe so.
14. Do I support all parts of Al-Anon? I do go to annual fundraisers and believe those funds are for the wider good of our district and WSO, but I need to get more educated.
15. What does my group do to support district, WSO? We send reps and have people in district positions. We have separate contribution baskets for certain fund drives. What benefits do we get from membership in WSO? We can expect help anywhere we might go.
16. Do I subscribe to the Forum? No. Do I purchase gift subscriptions? No.
17. Does my group have a Treasurer who gives reports? Yes. I hear some reports but am not always at the same meetings. Do we have a prudent reserve? Yes. I have heard Donna talk about it. We are not stockpiling moneys for no reason.
18. Do I understand the spiritual aspects of contributing? Yes. I know it is important to take self responsibility in order to have self respect.
19. Is my self-worth based on how much others need me? No, but I know it is a good feeling to be needed and to feel that people like to be around me so I do believe that in some part my self worth comes from being able to be a blessing to others. I do not encourage others to become dependent on me, though. I try to help them become independent.
20. Am I afraid of letting go? It is a challenge for me. Letting go of worry and the need to fix is challenging, but I want to be free.
21. Do I realized I can't have the respect of others if I don't stand on my own two feet? Yes. I am overly responsible in this area to the point where asking anything of others is a challenge.
22. Do I contribute to my own well-being? Am I fully self supporting? Do I expect to remain so? I do. I am doing my best to get enough work to maintain independence from others and maintain a prudent reserve in finances. Maintaining boundaries is getting a bit better. I would not call myself self supporting as I need my husband's income to maintain what we have. I feel burdened by stuff and don't really want the big house unless we can share it with compatible others to help pay for it. Trouble is there weren't much cheaper options at the time and I was stuck in the idea I could entertain, etc. with a nice house. I no longer care much about that and wish we weren't house poor.
23. Can I accept and express my feelings to others without feeling bad about it or justifying? I am learning to do this. I would have said no 15 months ago.
24. Do I take responsiblity for my own feelings and not blame them on others? I am improving in this regard also.
25. Is my happiness circumstance dependent or am I looking to myself for fulfillment? I can still get pulled around a bit by the desires and feelings of others, but I am working toward freedom from this and self growth by the help of God.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Tradition Six: Our AFG ought never endorse, finance, or lend our name to any outside enterprise
1. Why do we not "endorse, finance, or lend our name to any outside enterprise? How is this principle used in our business meetings? It would be like advice giving. It could backfire as it is our opinion as to its worth, but it may not be a good choice for others. We do not put other recovery programs in our literature or discuss them as part of our business.
2. Has my group ever had problems with money or property? How were those problems resolved? Not to my knowledge.
3. Have I or any member of my group allowed prestige to divert us from our primary spiritual aim? When? Why? What did we change? Not that I can see.
4. How does my group cooperate with AA? When? I believe the annual picnic is open to AA members.
5. In planning a group fund-raising activity, has my group considered this Tradition? As nearly as I can tell from 15 months with the group, it follows this Tradition well.
6. Does my group have CAL prominently displayed? Yes. Do I use CAL in my personal recovery? Yes.
7. Does my group sell or promote outside literature? No. How does this violate Tradition 6? We cannot include it in meetings. Do I have the courage to discuss the use of literature at a meeting? I have never had to or sometimes don't recognize if it's outside. Viki brought it up when someone read from the "promises".
8. How do I consider cooperation with AA in my service work? I would be happy to help with AA if asked. My daughter is quite active there. I wanted to join some of the hikes with them.
9. Why should group funds support only Al-Anon programs? It is important to support our program only because we need to have the funds to help families of alcoholics as our primary purpose. If there is extra, we can provide scholarships to Al-Anon events.
10. Has our group phone list ever been used for promotional purposes? No.
11. How can I discourage members, without embarrassing them, from bringing outside enterprises into our meetings? Personally, I would take the member aside after the meeting or at some point reiterate to the group in general what the policy is but not right after someone has shared as I saw what happens when that was done a few weeks ago. I don't think that person will ever return. I thought it was done respectfully, but it didn't need all the back and forth for 30 minutes.
12. Am I allowing material or financial concerns to gain priority over my personal spiritual needs and serenity? Sometimes. It is hard not to be a bit anxious in this economy, but I get busy working the program whenever I begin to worry about my job or other financial concersn.
13. Am I allowing personal problems or successes to overwhelm me? Am I letting them get in the way of how I treat others? This is a timely reminder that no matter what is happening I need to take a minute to recompose myself and be sure to treat others kindly rather than getting thick into obsession and not pay attention to the other person. I do sometimes still let myself get overwhelmed. Right now I feel pressure about finances, worry about Sequim bank, and getting son to treatment and back to school and a life.
14. How can I apply our slogan "Live and Let Live" to this tradition? I follow my program and remember to only talk about Al-Anon at meetings. I can do other things to help myself, but they do not have a place in Al-Anon meetings.
15. How can I apply our slogan "Let Go and Let God"? I need to let worries about Al-Anon service etc rest with God who strengthens me. He will take my cares and let me know when I need to take action and what kind of action to take.
16. How do I help my group meet our primary spiritual aim? I share what in Al-Anon has helped me with my group in the hopes that by sharing and giving support to others they will experience the healing power I have found in these rooms.
17. When participatin at an AA convention or roundup, do Al-Anon members have badges or logs from Al-Anon? I don't know. I have no experience with this.
2. Has my group ever had problems with money or property? How were those problems resolved? Not to my knowledge.
3. Have I or any member of my group allowed prestige to divert us from our primary spiritual aim? When? Why? What did we change? Not that I can see.
4. How does my group cooperate with AA? When? I believe the annual picnic is open to AA members.
5. In planning a group fund-raising activity, has my group considered this Tradition? As nearly as I can tell from 15 months with the group, it follows this Tradition well.
6. Does my group have CAL prominently displayed? Yes. Do I use CAL in my personal recovery? Yes.
7. Does my group sell or promote outside literature? No. How does this violate Tradition 6? We cannot include it in meetings. Do I have the courage to discuss the use of literature at a meeting? I have never had to or sometimes don't recognize if it's outside. Viki brought it up when someone read from the "promises".
8. How do I consider cooperation with AA in my service work? I would be happy to help with AA if asked. My daughter is quite active there. I wanted to join some of the hikes with them.
9. Why should group funds support only Al-Anon programs? It is important to support our program only because we need to have the funds to help families of alcoholics as our primary purpose. If there is extra, we can provide scholarships to Al-Anon events.
10. Has our group phone list ever been used for promotional purposes? No.
11. How can I discourage members, without embarrassing them, from bringing outside enterprises into our meetings? Personally, I would take the member aside after the meeting or at some point reiterate to the group in general what the policy is but not right after someone has shared as I saw what happens when that was done a few weeks ago. I don't think that person will ever return. I thought it was done respectfully, but it didn't need all the back and forth for 30 minutes.
12. Am I allowing material or financial concerns to gain priority over my personal spiritual needs and serenity? Sometimes. It is hard not to be a bit anxious in this economy, but I get busy working the program whenever I begin to worry about my job or other financial concersn.
13. Am I allowing personal problems or successes to overwhelm me? Am I letting them get in the way of how I treat others? This is a timely reminder that no matter what is happening I need to take a minute to recompose myself and be sure to treat others kindly rather than getting thick into obsession and not pay attention to the other person. I do sometimes still let myself get overwhelmed. Right now I feel pressure about finances, worry about Sequim bank, and getting son to treatment and back to school and a life.
14. How can I apply our slogan "Live and Let Live" to this tradition? I follow my program and remember to only talk about Al-Anon at meetings. I can do other things to help myself, but they do not have a place in Al-Anon meetings.
15. How can I apply our slogan "Let Go and Let God"? I need to let worries about Al-Anon service etc rest with God who strengthens me. He will take my cares and let me know when I need to take action and what kind of action to take.
16. How do I help my group meet our primary spiritual aim? I share what in Al-Anon has helped me with my group in the hopes that by sharing and giving support to others they will experience the healing power I have found in these rooms.
17. When participatin at an AA convention or roundup, do Al-Anon members have badges or logs from Al-Anon? I don't know. I have no experience with this.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Tradition Five: our purpose
1. How do I describe our primary purpose in a meeting? to a newcomer? I would say that our purpose is to support each other in our efforts to change our own thinking and behavior. By doing so, everyone around us could be helped but certainly we will begin to feel better.
2. Do I put my recovery first, ahead of others' needs? When? How? Usually. I do not decide not to go to a meeting because a child/husband wants me to do something. I work on my program daily - even if it is not as much as I would like to do. I realize that if I do nothing, I spin out of control again.
3. Do I realize that welcoming and comforting is not limited to newcomers? Why? Yes. I attempt to be kind to other people in all parts of my life. I also need to beware of cliquish behavior. I may feel closer to some people in Al-Anon, but it is important to share and be kind and inclusive to all.
4. Am I welcoming to all newcomers , no matter what their problems? How can I guide them to focus on the alcohol-related aspect of those problems? I remind myself always to greet and say a welcome. I tend to be shy, but I think sometimes that gives off an unwelcoming vibe; therefore, I am pushing myself to have a friendly smile. I can ask what is going on in their lives and give them a time to vent; then suggest some work in the books to help them move away from complaining.
5. How can I be more "newcomer" friendly? I need to keep pushing myself to take the time to talk to them after a meeting and say again "welcome; keep coming back".
6. How do I welcome long time members or those who have come back after a long absence? I always say that "it is good to see you again" and ask about how things are going. I have a friendly smile for all.
7. How might my group give newcomers individual attention? We have a newcomers' blurb, but it might be good to decide ahead who will share step 1 so there's no lag plus I have heard that bigger groups have a special newcomers' group - someone volunteers to take them to another room and talk about the program in more depth. I would have found that useful. I bought the books and kind of oriented myself.
8. Do I ever call newcomers or someone who has been missing from the group? Yes, I did that but only once. I felt a particular connection with her. She has never returned but had told me she would. I am reminded of Joel's last sermon in which he told us to "sic" the prodigals. He said if we notice someone missing, we need to contact them and say "We miss you. We need you. We love you". I think I need to try to do something like that at least once a week. I have not done well with the other member calls. I am good about keeping the time with my sponsor but not so great about contacting others.
9. As a group, how do we use steps and traditions to help families of alcoholics? Each meeting has a theme. Each month there is one meeting devoted to a step and one to a tradition. By doing this, all steps and traditions are explored. I believe this is wonderful for all of us as it gives us more insight into how others have worked them.
10. What can we do as a group to make our fellowship known to those outside of Al-Anon? We help with the phone tree so that if someone calls needing info, we can give info about the program and the meeting schedule. Once we are well into healing, I believe that people will want what we have: positive attitude. If people asked me about the changes, I tell them. I also will tell anyone who confesses a problem with alcohol in a relative or friend as I think sometimes people don't know about the help that is out there.
11. How can I help others understand that alcoholism is a disease? I will share this information whenever I hear someone say something that shows they are misinformed. It may not change their mind, but the seeds have been at least planted. When there is a celebrity rehab, I will talk about that person with compassion not the awful gossip or put downs most will use.
12. What does comfort mean to me? How can I extend that to another? Comfort means feeling listened to and understood. A knowing look, a kind word, a hug . . . these are all part of it for me. When people nod when I talk, I know I am not alone. I can listen to others and nod because I do understand. I can be there for that phone call or some other service.
13. What does encouraging the alcoholic mean to me? How might I react differently if the diseased person in my life had diabetes or cancer? Encouraging means being respectful and not nagging all the time. I need to say my opinion once; then let it be. Shaming does not work. There would be no shame if the person had another illness. Being kind.
2. Do I put my recovery first, ahead of others' needs? When? How? Usually. I do not decide not to go to a meeting because a child/husband wants me to do something. I work on my program daily - even if it is not as much as I would like to do. I realize that if I do nothing, I spin out of control again.
3. Do I realize that welcoming and comforting is not limited to newcomers? Why? Yes. I attempt to be kind to other people in all parts of my life. I also need to beware of cliquish behavior. I may feel closer to some people in Al-Anon, but it is important to share and be kind and inclusive to all.
4. Am I welcoming to all newcomers , no matter what their problems? How can I guide them to focus on the alcohol-related aspect of those problems? I remind myself always to greet and say a welcome. I tend to be shy, but I think sometimes that gives off an unwelcoming vibe; therefore, I am pushing myself to have a friendly smile. I can ask what is going on in their lives and give them a time to vent; then suggest some work in the books to help them move away from complaining.
5. How can I be more "newcomer" friendly? I need to keep pushing myself to take the time to talk to them after a meeting and say again "welcome; keep coming back".
6. How do I welcome long time members or those who have come back after a long absence? I always say that "it is good to see you again" and ask about how things are going. I have a friendly smile for all.
7. How might my group give newcomers individual attention? We have a newcomers' blurb, but it might be good to decide ahead who will share step 1 so there's no lag plus I have heard that bigger groups have a special newcomers' group - someone volunteers to take them to another room and talk about the program in more depth. I would have found that useful. I bought the books and kind of oriented myself.
8. Do I ever call newcomers or someone who has been missing from the group? Yes, I did that but only once. I felt a particular connection with her. She has never returned but had told me she would. I am reminded of Joel's last sermon in which he told us to "sic" the prodigals. He said if we notice someone missing, we need to contact them and say "We miss you. We need you. We love you". I think I need to try to do something like that at least once a week. I have not done well with the other member calls. I am good about keeping the time with my sponsor but not so great about contacting others.
9. As a group, how do we use steps and traditions to help families of alcoholics? Each meeting has a theme. Each month there is one meeting devoted to a step and one to a tradition. By doing this, all steps and traditions are explored. I believe this is wonderful for all of us as it gives us more insight into how others have worked them.
10. What can we do as a group to make our fellowship known to those outside of Al-Anon? We help with the phone tree so that if someone calls needing info, we can give info about the program and the meeting schedule. Once we are well into healing, I believe that people will want what we have: positive attitude. If people asked me about the changes, I tell them. I also will tell anyone who confesses a problem with alcohol in a relative or friend as I think sometimes people don't know about the help that is out there.
11. How can I help others understand that alcoholism is a disease? I will share this information whenever I hear someone say something that shows they are misinformed. It may not change their mind, but the seeds have been at least planted. When there is a celebrity rehab, I will talk about that person with compassion not the awful gossip or put downs most will use.
12. What does comfort mean to me? How can I extend that to another? Comfort means feeling listened to and understood. A knowing look, a kind word, a hug . . . these are all part of it for me. When people nod when I talk, I know I am not alone. I can listen to others and nod because I do understand. I can be there for that phone call or some other service.
13. What does encouraging the alcoholic mean to me? How might I react differently if the diseased person in my life had diabetes or cancer? Encouraging means being respectful and not nagging all the time. I need to say my opinion once; then let it be. Shaming does not work. There would be no shame if the person had another illness. Being kind.
Friday, March 16, 2012
Step 12 Pathways Questions 3-16-12
1. Have I experienced a spiritual awakening? Yes. I feel peaceful much more often than I used to. I am often filled with love. I have better boundaries. I stay out of God's way with other people's lives. I pray for guidance and wait until something feels right. I am learning to respond to my own intuition. I feel the presence of God much more strongly. I focus on myself and my own improvement/growth. I engage in less of my defects such as fits about traffic, complaining, blaming, obsessing, anxiety=future tripping, lack of self control, need to control others.
2. In what ways do I downplay my spiritual growth? What can help me to acknowledge it? I don't feel like I downplay my growth.
3. What have I received from Al-Anon that I would most like to share! The peace that comes from knowing that I do not have to do it all without help. I cannot fix all problems.
4. What are the different ways I can carry this message to others? I can lead by example. If I am loving and peaceful, work hard to be a blessing to everyone each day, stop obsessing about time and problems, it is something others will want. I can continue to attend several meetings and share what helps me and be there to listen to those in pain. I can do some service work. I can use the principles in all my affairs - bringing serenity to my family and friends. I can be a sponsor. I can provide some financial support of the program. I can tell others visiting their loved ones in treatment about this program.
5. Did I see a friendly face early in my recovery? Yes - many! What can I do to be a friendly face to others? I can put on a welcoming face and give words of welcome and support. I can share how it felt to be new and how I feel now.
6. What is the difference between carrying the message and giving advice? I have no business giving advice because my solutions may not be someone else's. I can tell what I have learned and how I have coped and tell them to talk to many people about the program as it helps to hear the message from many and just encourage to keep coming back and working the program.
7. When trying to carry the message, what have I experienced? It feels good to share something that may help someone find his/her own way to recovery and a more peaceful state of being. By helping another, it helps me as I learn something from that person as well.
8. How can I recognize a cry for help without meddling in others' affairs? I can see pain and just be there to listen. I can talk about the program tools. I can say that all will be revealed. The solutions will come if follow the steps and use the tools. I cannot force Al-Anon on someone if they don't want it/aren't interested. I can continue to be loving and encouraging. My getting better may be what helps others be better.
9. How can I practice these principles in my job? Is my job merely a means of earning money or an opportunity to practice my recovery? I absolutely am working to apply these principles to my job. I am working on seeking the best in others and retaining peace and joy regardless of what happens. I am seeking to pull back from fixing or doing something for my students. I am looking for ways to empower them rather than to enable them to do nothing. I seek daily to be a blessing. I have changed my attitude from the job being something to be endured to looking for all the joy there is in working with that age group. I seek to be more honest and try to work out mutually beneficial solutions and look for reasons when I start to feel that pinch in my stomach that signals a battle of wills.
10. What does the Twelfth Step say to me about service work? I must be accountable for helping others find what I found. That means I need to give back in some way whether it be just going to meetings and helping set up or providing an opportunity for a retreat or an actual service position.
11. What part has service to Al-Anon played in my recovery? Maintaining that commitment to meetings and to time with my sponsor has assisted me with contining to work the program. I could have been lazy sometimes, but remembering that I have a responsibility to the group keeps me on track and continually working on growing and improving my attitude.
12. What would change if I viewed service as my goal in every area of my life? This is my ultimate goal. It takes the focus off me and my problems. I was so caught up in myself and worry that I didn't enjoy each day. I often didn't observe anything around me because of these obsessions and self pity. Service gets me out of myself and helps me to be a better person. I feel rewarded when someone smiles because I exist.
13. What are "these principals"? They are the steps, traditions, and concepts of Al-Anon - a blueprint for living life in a positive and healthy manner.
14. How can I apply them in my daily life? I can study the program materials, talk to others in the program, and see ways to use this program as my blueprint for a life well lived.
15. In what areas of my life do I need to apply these principles? What can I do this week to make a beginning? I can apply them to relationships, my job working with teens, and my hiking group. Basically, all areas of my life benefit from my following this way of life. An area where I could improve is in doing more program calls besides just the ones to my sponsor or my neighbor. A beginning would be to set a time to do one extra call per week.
16. How am I living the message of the program? I follow the guidelines and study daily to stretch myself into a better person. I have become grateful for each day. I am doing better at letting go and letting God. My defects are lessening. I intend to be in this for life - growing until the die I die. The serener and more joyful I become, the more people want to be around me and will want to know my secret :D.
17. How am I a good example of Al-Anon recovery? I am learning not to overreact anymore. I have learned to lessen complaining, judging/being critical, gossiping, developed an attitude of gratitude, am overcoming my obsessing with time and not being so resentful of interruptions. I am becoming more flexible and willing to do things for others without taking on responsibility for their lives. I am letting their problems be their programs and realizing that problems are there for growth. I cannot deprive someone of an opp for growth.
2. In what ways do I downplay my spiritual growth? What can help me to acknowledge it? I don't feel like I downplay my growth.
3. What have I received from Al-Anon that I would most like to share! The peace that comes from knowing that I do not have to do it all without help. I cannot fix all problems.
4. What are the different ways I can carry this message to others? I can lead by example. If I am loving and peaceful, work hard to be a blessing to everyone each day, stop obsessing about time and problems, it is something others will want. I can continue to attend several meetings and share what helps me and be there to listen to those in pain. I can do some service work. I can use the principles in all my affairs - bringing serenity to my family and friends. I can be a sponsor. I can provide some financial support of the program. I can tell others visiting their loved ones in treatment about this program.
5. Did I see a friendly face early in my recovery? Yes - many! What can I do to be a friendly face to others? I can put on a welcoming face and give words of welcome and support. I can share how it felt to be new and how I feel now.
6. What is the difference between carrying the message and giving advice? I have no business giving advice because my solutions may not be someone else's. I can tell what I have learned and how I have coped and tell them to talk to many people about the program as it helps to hear the message from many and just encourage to keep coming back and working the program.
7. When trying to carry the message, what have I experienced? It feels good to share something that may help someone find his/her own way to recovery and a more peaceful state of being. By helping another, it helps me as I learn something from that person as well.
8. How can I recognize a cry for help without meddling in others' affairs? I can see pain and just be there to listen. I can talk about the program tools. I can say that all will be revealed. The solutions will come if follow the steps and use the tools. I cannot force Al-Anon on someone if they don't want it/aren't interested. I can continue to be loving and encouraging. My getting better may be what helps others be better.
9. How can I practice these principles in my job? Is my job merely a means of earning money or an opportunity to practice my recovery? I absolutely am working to apply these principles to my job. I am working on seeking the best in others and retaining peace and joy regardless of what happens. I am seeking to pull back from fixing or doing something for my students. I am looking for ways to empower them rather than to enable them to do nothing. I seek daily to be a blessing. I have changed my attitude from the job being something to be endured to looking for all the joy there is in working with that age group. I seek to be more honest and try to work out mutually beneficial solutions and look for reasons when I start to feel that pinch in my stomach that signals a battle of wills.
10. What does the Twelfth Step say to me about service work? I must be accountable for helping others find what I found. That means I need to give back in some way whether it be just going to meetings and helping set up or providing an opportunity for a retreat or an actual service position.
11. What part has service to Al-Anon played in my recovery? Maintaining that commitment to meetings and to time with my sponsor has assisted me with contining to work the program. I could have been lazy sometimes, but remembering that I have a responsibility to the group keeps me on track and continually working on growing and improving my attitude.
12. What would change if I viewed service as my goal in every area of my life? This is my ultimate goal. It takes the focus off me and my problems. I was so caught up in myself and worry that I didn't enjoy each day. I often didn't observe anything around me because of these obsessions and self pity. Service gets me out of myself and helps me to be a better person. I feel rewarded when someone smiles because I exist.
13. What are "these principals"? They are the steps, traditions, and concepts of Al-Anon - a blueprint for living life in a positive and healthy manner.
14. How can I apply them in my daily life? I can study the program materials, talk to others in the program, and see ways to use this program as my blueprint for a life well lived.
15. In what areas of my life do I need to apply these principles? What can I do this week to make a beginning? I can apply them to relationships, my job working with teens, and my hiking group. Basically, all areas of my life benefit from my following this way of life. An area where I could improve is in doing more program calls besides just the ones to my sponsor or my neighbor. A beginning would be to set a time to do one extra call per week.
16. How am I living the message of the program? I follow the guidelines and study daily to stretch myself into a better person. I have become grateful for each day. I am doing better at letting go and letting God. My defects are lessening. I intend to be in this for life - growing until the die I die. The serener and more joyful I become, the more people want to be around me and will want to know my secret :D.
17. How am I a good example of Al-Anon recovery? I am learning not to overreact anymore. I have learned to lessen complaining, judging/being critical, gossiping, developed an attitude of gratitude, am overcoming my obsessing with time and not being so resentful of interruptions. I am becoming more flexible and willing to do things for others without taking on responsibility for their lives. I am letting their problems be their programs and realizing that problems are there for growth. I cannot deprive someone of an opp for growth.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Step 11 Pathways
Step 11 Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
1. How do I define the difference between prayer and meditation? Prayer is my talking to God. Meditation is taking the quiet time to listen for answers. Can I talk to sponsor or other Al-Anon friends about the difference? Yes.
2. Am I willing to try prayer and meditation today? I do this as often as possible. Sometimes I am not consistent enough about a daily routine as I believe starting and ending my day with consciously giving time to these two activities would be of immense help to me.
3. What can I do to add prayer and meditation to my life today? I can make the decision to set aside time each day at the exact same time to engage in both activities for at least 15 minutes at the beginning and end of the day.
4. Do I have a special time and place to pray and meditate? Think about it each day and set the time as sitting in front of someplace beautiful and quiet such as my window overlooking the lake (at home), campsite, or window at Sequim. I need to get up at 6 and give 15 minutes to this; each night after dinner another 15 minutes.
5. How have I sought to improve my conscious contact? I talk to God throughout the day and listen to spiritual music, soak up God's beauty, and listen to CDs in the car that talk very Al-Anon type talk - Joel and Joyce. It helps me reprogram my thoughts and win the battle of the mind. I can stay more upbeat by focusing on those words. Have I sought out help from my group? I have reached out to some members and am planning a retreat with them. I hope to establish an even stronger relationship and spend more time on retreats like this.
6. What personal spiritual experiences can I draw on to help me improve my conscious contact with God? I have felt his peace and answers come to me, I saw Jesus and felt his warmth, and I have had many experiences where the solution to the problem was right there.
7. What does it mean to me to pray only for God's will and not my own? I may not know what's best for me so it is best to ask for guidance and not specifics as perhaps what I want isn't really good for me right now. I need to trust that I am where I am supposed to be. How can I distinguish between God's will and my will? Usually God's will comes to me when I am quiet and receptive. I know exactly what I want so I can usually tell when it's my will. I get a good feeling when it's right.
8. How have I been mistaken about God's will? How has my self will caused me difficulties? I can't think of an instance of being mistake, but I do know that I am not always sure about the answer - is it me or God? I do know that I lived my life without asking for help or guidance and made a pretty good mess of it and lived down and discouraged - not what I want for myself.
9. How am I willing to be guided today? I usually ask for patience and to be a blessing to others each day. I also ask for guidance about specific situations facing me. However, I could ask for guidance much more - before every decision. I could also talk to Al-Anon members about those things. These days I tend to do and say nothing because I would rather do that than mess things up further.
10. Is something blocking me in this step today? What is it? I tend to be inconsistent. What steps can I review to help me feel connected today? Steps 1-3, 6-7, 10 work help me to refocus. 10 in particular is one I'd like to do everyday as I have a check in list as to how the day went.
11. What do I need to have the power to do this step? Mainly I need courage and consistency. Have I asked God for that power? Yes, I have. I also repeat to myself that "I will not fear" as well as other helpful slogans.
1. How do I define the difference between prayer and meditation? Prayer is my talking to God. Meditation is taking the quiet time to listen for answers. Can I talk to sponsor or other Al-Anon friends about the difference? Yes.
2. Am I willing to try prayer and meditation today? I do this as often as possible. Sometimes I am not consistent enough about a daily routine as I believe starting and ending my day with consciously giving time to these two activities would be of immense help to me.
3. What can I do to add prayer and meditation to my life today? I can make the decision to set aside time each day at the exact same time to engage in both activities for at least 15 minutes at the beginning and end of the day.
4. Do I have a special time and place to pray and meditate? Think about it each day and set the time as sitting in front of someplace beautiful and quiet such as my window overlooking the lake (at home), campsite, or window at Sequim. I need to get up at 6 and give 15 minutes to this; each night after dinner another 15 minutes.
5. How have I sought to improve my conscious contact? I talk to God throughout the day and listen to spiritual music, soak up God's beauty, and listen to CDs in the car that talk very Al-Anon type talk - Joel and Joyce. It helps me reprogram my thoughts and win the battle of the mind. I can stay more upbeat by focusing on those words. Have I sought out help from my group? I have reached out to some members and am planning a retreat with them. I hope to establish an even stronger relationship and spend more time on retreats like this.
6. What personal spiritual experiences can I draw on to help me improve my conscious contact with God? I have felt his peace and answers come to me, I saw Jesus and felt his warmth, and I have had many experiences where the solution to the problem was right there.
7. What does it mean to me to pray only for God's will and not my own? I may not know what's best for me so it is best to ask for guidance and not specifics as perhaps what I want isn't really good for me right now. I need to trust that I am where I am supposed to be. How can I distinguish between God's will and my will? Usually God's will comes to me when I am quiet and receptive. I know exactly what I want so I can usually tell when it's my will. I get a good feeling when it's right.
8. How have I been mistaken about God's will? How has my self will caused me difficulties? I can't think of an instance of being mistake, but I do know that I am not always sure about the answer - is it me or God? I do know that I lived my life without asking for help or guidance and made a pretty good mess of it and lived down and discouraged - not what I want for myself.
9. How am I willing to be guided today? I usually ask for patience and to be a blessing to others each day. I also ask for guidance about specific situations facing me. However, I could ask for guidance much more - before every decision. I could also talk to Al-Anon members about those things. These days I tend to do and say nothing because I would rather do that than mess things up further.
10. Is something blocking me in this step today? What is it? I tend to be inconsistent. What steps can I review to help me feel connected today? Steps 1-3, 6-7, 10 work help me to refocus. 10 in particular is one I'd like to do everyday as I have a check in list as to how the day went.
11. What do I need to have the power to do this step? Mainly I need courage and consistency. Have I asked God for that power? Yes, I have. I also repeat to myself that "I will not fear" as well as other helpful slogans.
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