Step 6 - were entirely willing to have God remove all these defects of character

1.  Have I completed working the first five steps to the best of my ability?  Yes.  Am I willing to go back and look at them if I feel overwhelmed in working this step?  Yes.

2.  What have I learned from my sponsor or another Al-Anon member on how they worked Step Six?  I will talk to her about this step soon.  I will also call others to see if they have completed the step.

3.  As a result of working Step Five, am I grateful that there is a Step Six to work?  Yes.  I found areas that could be removed for me to be healthier and happier.  I feel much more serene now that I know the areas and can see how they are hurting me.  I am ready to replace these defects with assets.

4.  Do I clearly understand the concept of readiness?  Yes.  It means that I am ready to have God step in to take away these defects.  If I feel scared about losing any of them, I am probably not ready.  However, I feel ready.  I know I can't do this alone.

5.  How do I know if I am ready?  I believe God will lead me.  I feel it is time to let these defects go.  My continued serenity depends on continued working of this program.

6.  If I am not entirely ready, how might I turn these fears over to God?  I will ask him for help daily.  I know this is not on my timetable but on God's.

7.  What fears block me from being entirely ready?  The defects serve some kind of protection purpose.  Dreaming about revenge allowed me not to feel so much pain.  I feel that most of the defects protected me from pain.  I don't like pain, but I have learned that not facing it brings double the pain down the line.

8.  Can I ask God for the willingness to be ready?  Yes.  I will ask him to help me face the pain and let go of the defects.

9.  In what ways to I trust God in working this step?  I know he won't take action unless I am truly ready.  I believe that means I will have enough support, knowledge, and new attitudes/behaviors to make it possible.

10.  Am I willing to let go of all of my defects of character?  Yes.  Why?  I feel they no longer serve a purpose in my new healthy life.

11.  Which ones would I prefer to hold onto?  What advantages do I see in holding onto them?  Perhaps some of the obsession because it does give me the push to organize events and get out and exercise.  Impatience gives me a release valve in traffic.  Not being direct as it has the advantage of not hurting others - diplomacy is good, but running away from being honest is not.

12.  Which defects of character also contained assets?  The ones I just mentioned.

13.  What does "have God remove all my defects of character mean to me?  It means that the impatience, obsession with time, being in my head, anxiety, etc are replaced by healthier ways to deal with life.

14.  How do I trust and feel confident that my God is there?  I see amazing beauty that to me holds a master designer's touch.  I talk to God and feel flooded with such a wonderful sense of peace - the feeling that all is well and will work out much better than I could have ever planned.

15.  Do I understand why this step speaks only of my own relationship with God?  What does this mean to me?  I am a unique individual.  My defects are not the same as anyone else's.  The blend of my personality belongs to no other in the word; therefore, this is only about me and God. 

16.  How am I grateful that I now know God?  I think God has wanted this for a long time and has given me many chances to know Him; yet I walked away.  I feel peace whenever I make contact with God.  Now I feel that He is always with me.  I can thank him for all the good things, and I can reach out in bad times and feel that it will work out.  Before I lived my life in despair and didn't feel life had much to offer me.  I had lost the joy of being alive and thought I was doomed to misery.  I despaired at all the hard knocks.  Now I realize these are my opportunities for growth, my lessons, my way to learn to see the good in all that happens and remember that it's part of a master plan.  I can't know or see the reasons immediately or perhaps ever, but there is a plan for me.  I am where I need to be.  I can always remember that if one door closes, another opens and often with double the opportunity/favor as long as I keep the faith.

17.  Can I make a commitment to share in Al-Anon how I worked this step?  Yes.

18.  How have I encouraged those I sponsor to work this step?  I haven't sponsored yet so will answer this one in a year or two.

19.  Will I consider chairing a meeting or workshop on the power of this step?  Eventually when I feel more confident.

20.  What evidence do I see in my life today of God's willingness to help me improve my behavior?  How can I do my part?  I am able to see clearly what I am doing.  I feel God is there reminding me to use slogans and to keep my attitude and thinking positive.  It is my part to follow those feelings/nudges out of the bad place and remember to trust that he is leading me on my path.

21.  Do I make demands on God, praying for a specific result rather than trusting God to know which defect is most important to remove?  I don't ask for a specific one.  I just ask for help in improving myself.  He knows better than I do which one needs to go first.  I can't possibly determine that.

22.  How can I look at all these characteristics from a fresh point of view today?  I no longer beat myself up and relive mistakes constantly.  I realize they are survival features even if I don't know why they started or what purpose they serve.  I am finding ways to deal with them positively and asked constantly for God's help.

23.  Other than let go and let God, what other slogans or tools help me with this step?  I find myself using "Easy does it"  or How Important is it?  quite often.  It reminds me not to obsess on time or get in too big a hurry and wreck something.

Needs and Wants 11/21/2011

1.  Rick to sign off on the papers so the deal keeps going to the next level.
2.  Bangerts to sign the covenant.  The deal is done at that point.
3.  We get the Sequim house.

Those are the pressing needs/wants right at this moment.  In addition, ongoing needs/desires:

1.  Keisuke changes his attitude to that of "can do" and finishes school.
2.  Kiku learns to be fiscally responsible, stays clean, finishes school, and gets a good life on her terms.
3.  Glen and I learn to work out our differences and come to a kinder, more intimate relationship.
4.  Our financial burdens lessen; we feel less stressed about them:  better pay and job for Glen; my job continues; Kazuya keeps his job; kids finish school and become independent.
5.  We all learn better eating habits/ways to lose weight permanently.
6.  We all continue in personal growth.


These are the main things I give to God.  I have no control over these.  I have done what I can to make them happen.  It is up to God now.  We are deserving of good things.